When Motherhood Doesn’t Feel Quite Like You Expected
Becoming a mother can bring joy, love, excitement—and an entirely new level of exhaustion you didn’t know was possible.
It can also bring anxiety, sadness, irritability, loneliness, guilt, overwhelm, or thoughts and feelings you weren’t expecting.
Maybe you love your baby deeply but don’t particularly love this stage of motherhood. Maybe you’re wondering why everyone keeps telling you to “enjoy every minute” when some of the minutes involve no sleep, spit-up, crying, and trying to remember the last time you showered.
You can be grateful for your baby and be having a hard time.
Both things can be true.
There’s a Lot to Untangle
New motherhood changes nearly every part of life at once, your routines, relationships, body, identity, responsibilities, sleep, and expectations of yourself.
Add hormones, recovery, feeding decisions, unsolicited advice, social media, family opinions, and the pressure to somehow know exactly what you’re doing, and it’s understandable if things start to feel like a lot.
Some common experiences during the postpartum period include:
- Feeling overwhelmed or questioning whether you’re “good at” being a mother
- Feeling guilty for not enjoying every moment
- Putting enormous expectations on yourself
- Feeling disconnected from your baby or worrying that you haven’t bonded “enough”
- Racing thoughts that are difficult to quiet
- Constant worry about your baby or whether you’re doing things correctly
- Feeling empty, numb, or like you’re simply going through the motions
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Feeling more irritable, emotional, or unlike yourself
- Feeling lonely even when you’re rarely actually alone
- Worrying that asking for help will make other people judge you
- Missing parts of your life or identity from before becoming a mother
- Feeling like you want to escape from everything for a while
Making Space for You, Too
When so much attention is focused on the baby, it can be easy for the person who just became a mother to get lost somewhere underneath all of it.
Therapy gives you a place where you get to be the focus.
Together, we can untangle the expectations, worries, identity changes, relationship shifts, and emotions that can come with becoming a mother. We can also work on practical ways to manage anxiety and overwhelm, communicate what you need, set boundaries, reconnect with yourself, and adjust to what life looks like now.
And because our sessions are through telehealth, therapy doesn’t have to mean finding childcare, packing a diaper bag, loading everyone into the car, and somehow arriving somewhere on time.
Your baby or young child can be home with you during your session when needed. Feed them. Hold them. Rock them. Set them up nearby with toys. If we need to pause because someone needs a snack, a diaper change, or has suddenly decided right now is an emergency, we can work with that.
Sometimes taking care of yourself needs to fit into motherhood rather than requiring you to step completely away from it.
There is no perfect way to feel about motherhood, and you don’t have to have everything figured out.
Frankly, nobody does.
If motherhood feels heavier, messier, or simply different than you expected, reach out to schedule a consultation. We can start untangling it together.